


Endless Heroes ((Karkat x Immortal!Suicidal!Reader))

by Anuyushi



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 03:26:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11050326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anuyushi/pseuds/Anuyushi
Summary: "Assholes." He finally replied, crossing his arms. "All assholes.""Assholes?" I tilt my head curiously."Yea. I can't stand them. But I just can't leave them."Requested by www.wattpad.com/user/Heart_In_2♚[© 2017 |Emily Jones]♛





	Endless Heroes ((Karkat x Immortal!Suicidal!Reader))

How long have I felt this way? Feeling so.. Cold. Why is it so cold? I felt alone. I couldn't stop this feeling of anguish, bubbling inside my gut. One by one, everyone I ever loved, whom I ever knew, dropped at my feet. And here I was, unscarred, young, healthy, and utterly alone.  
I was too scared to create bonds anymore. They would just leave me too. How old was I? I wasn't even sure myself. I wrapped my arms around myself, but I couldn't feel the heartbeat in my chest. Was I dead after all? No.. That wasn't possible. I wish I were, but I couldn't. Why couldn't I join my friends and family in the afterlife? They must be wondering where I am. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't even bleed. I didn't age, and I couldn't die. Wrapped in fine robes, but I still felt cold. I would try again tonight, like I did every night, but it wouldn't work. I knew it wouldn't work but it had become a daily routine for as long as I can remember. There was no sun here though and no clocks. I just knew when I started feeling tired, it was night.  
And that was when I pulled myself up from the hard ground, wiping my behind of dirt, and stumbled out of the cave. The sky was pitch black. No sun, no moon, no stars. Why? Because this was a dead session. And I was trapped in god tier, since the moment everything around me was killed off, i've been alone. I can't leave a dead session, and gods can't die. So I was forever trapped here, slowly driving myself to madness.  
I followed the trail I had passed over thousands of times. My footprints were dug into the path, so I had no trouble finding my way. The trail led me slightly uphill, then a small light caught my vision. The one I made myself. Made of a small twig left behind that I managed to light. It sat above my destination. When I approached, I paused, looking down and forcing a smile. Yeah, this was where I wanted to go. A large stone blocked my path and I knew this was it. I couldn't mark it, but this was where I had to bury my own friends and family. I set my hand over the stone, and slipped out an old dagger. It was red stained and rusted but it was all I owned before the server went to hell. I gazed down to my arm, and took a deep breath. Slowly pushing up the sleeves, I closed my eyes before pushing the blade into my skin. I felt a tight pain and looked down, seeing the blood seep down to my hand, covering the blade with more red. I released the pressure and looked down at my arm. The cut didn't last more than a moment before closing up again, leaving my arm just sticky red with blood. I expected this result. All my wounds simply heal. And I have to clean up the mess myself. But like everyday, I would just turn and return to the cave to sit and get lost in my own thoughts, only to repeat the next day. Is this really a life I'm living? I took a deep breath, then exhaled. Well, it's time to go back. I looked down at the stone one last time, and forced a small smile. "You'll wait for me, right?"  
Silence. Yeah, I'll join them one day. Then I won't be alone anymore.  
"Hello?"  
A voice. I'm going crazy, aren't I? Nobody was here.  
"I'm lost. I-Is anyone here?"  
Nobody was here but I'm so lonely, I'll take my insanity and play along for now. So I opened my mouth and spoke. "I'm here. Who are you?"  
The reply was almost instant, echoing from not far away. "Fuck, finally there's a survivor. Where are you? I can't see."  
"I'm here. Follow my voice. See if you can find my trail."  
"Y-Yea I think I found it."  
I paused, deciding on the best thing to say to the voice. "What's your name?"  
"Karkat." The voice sounded closer. "I wandered too far in a dream bubble and found myself here. Where's the sky?"  
I wondered that everyday. I missed the light. "It blew up when our session was killed. I'm the last survivor. I thought I'd spend eternity here in the doomed session. My alternate universe self is probably off with their friends but..." I sniffed, shaking my head. I couldn't say any more. Suddenly something gripped my arm. My heart leapt in my chest, and I whirled around to attack. Whoever or whatever it was, my wrist was grabbed and held back. When I felt fingers tighten on me, I couldn't breathe. Everything just stopped. A real... They were... I was... I wasn't alone. Karkat, it was? They were real. I didn't care if I didn't even know them, I jerked my arm away so I could wrap them in a tight hug. They tensed up and didn't hug back but I was glad to feel some kind of other life. "Y-You're real.." Was all I could muster on the verge of tears.  
They allowed me to hug them for a few moments then pushed me back slowly. I relaxed my hold and wiped an eye with my sleeve. "I'm sorry." Quickly shaking my head, I could see their outline in the dark. "It's been so long..." I paused to swallow. "Since I've spoken to anyone." Then it hit me. "You walked here? Do you know the way back? Can you take me?"  
Karkat sighed, crossing his arms. "If I fucking knew, I wouldn't be lost out here like a dumbass. And if you don't know how to get out either, we're both fucked."  
Sounding vaguely irritated, Karkat began to mutter a variety of exclusive curses to himself. "What's a dream bubble?" I started to feel curious. It wasn't something I had heard about in my session. Were they the clue to escape?  
"You don't know?" He told his head curiously. "They're portions of memory from the dead that can be explored. You said this was a failed session, right?"  
I nodded.  
"That explains why there's none here. One of your friends probably left behind a dream bubble that found a way to connect to the one I was in then led here." Karkat suddenly walked passed me. I could feel his shoulder brush mine as he began to walk away. I hurried to catch up, seeing he slouched and looked extremely upset. "I can't find the fucking exit." He spout without warning. "You came from the opposite direction, right? Then wouldn't the exit be that way?"  
He slowed, then looked to his feet. "Not... Not really. I was wandering a long ass time and I wasn't going in a straight line "  
I felt my heart drop that moment. So he was lost too? To be alone, I didn't realize that moment how glad I was that I was here by myself. Because that meant nobody else was suffering like this. In eternal darkness, unable to leave by death, and you just wander for eternity. I stopped wandering long ago because I didn't want that fate. But he was here too now. This stranger. Karkat. "It's not wise to walk without knowing where you're going. You'll start walking but you can never stop." I lowered my gaze to my feet. "You keep feeling 'a little more and I'll find something!'" I shook my head. "So you keep going. There never is though. This is a void of a dead session." Even in the dark, I could see his head moving. He turned away, and went silent. When I went to speak again, I was suddenly interrupted. "So what?'  
"What do you mean 'so what'? You'll just walk forever!"  
"So fucking what!?" My shirt was suddenly grabbed and Karkat pulled me close. I could feel his breath on me. What do I say? I don't understand!  
"I'll walk on for as many good damn sweeps as I have to so I can get back. You probably gave up but I have friends waiting for me. So don't fucking stop me. How would your friends feel if you just wasted everything sitting in a shitty place like this?" Karkat paused then released me. I fell back quickly, assuring he wouldn't get me again. "You're still here, aren't you? Pull yourself together and get off your ass. You're a fucking god tier after all. What a disgrace to your title and to your session."  
His words stabbed my heart, I didn't even realize I wasn't breathing until my lungs started to ache. I exhaled, straightening my stance. "You're right. I've lost could of the days I spent here. I can't go with my friends, because gods are immortal. And I haven't found an escape. I guess..." I tightened a grip on my palms, suddenly feeling angry. Why was I angry? What did he say that.. woke me up? "I guess I got lost in time. I'll go with you. We'll find a way out. I'm sure of it!"  
I reached out and grabbed Karkat's hand. I felt his nails dig into my skin as he tightened his own grip but it didn't hurt of course. "Fine. I'll let you tag along." His voice was slightly quieter.  
As he began to talk, I turned back one last time to say goodbye to the gravestone.  
"Let's go." He gave a small tug. I followed, slightly behind. Neither of us knew where to go but with two people, we could find the exit. I'm sure of it. He wandered in here after all. That means there's an entrance.  
"So what were you doing there anyway?" After a while of silence, Karkat suddenly asked. "I.." I looked away. "I was doing my morning routine. It doesn't do anything but I..." I swallowed, feeling the ball of ice in my stomach. "I was trying to kill myself. Then I could join my friends in the afterlife. But gods can't die so.."  
It took a moment for Karkat to respond but when he did, he didn't sound pleased. "Don't do that shit anymore then. I'm here now and I'm your friend. And when we get the fuck out of here, you'll have more friends too."  
Friends? "I could never replace my friends-"  
"Of course not! You'll just have even more to live for now."  
Karkat gave a quick tug, suddenly making me trip. I quickly gripped to his sweater to keep myself steady. My new friend relaxed his hold and sighed. "Sorry.. or whatever. I'm inpatient."  
Yes, that was understandable. I would be too if I had a reason like that to leave. I gave a smile, even though he couldn't see. Maybe I just smiled for myself. It's been a while since I gave a real smile. It felt so nice to be happy. "You're not a good tier, are you?"  
I heard him drawn in a breath then groan. "Fuck. Not yet. I'm still just a normal player. Even the humans have gone god tier but not me! Why not me?" A hint of anger lingered in his voice but he didn't say any more.  
"Humans? Are you not a human?"  
"Hell no!" Karkat suddenly snapped. "I would never want to be one of those gross fleshy sacks of Earth meat. They don't even have horns. I don't know how they live like that."  
Fascinating. "So then what are you? And what do you mean horns? Do you have those? I can't see in the dark."  
I caught his head nod slowly. He released my hand to cross his arms. "I'm a troll, obviously. And yea, I got horns. They're not very big but they're not too damn big to even fit a shirt over my head." He stopped for a second. "You never heard of us, huh? Your session was killed before we could even get in contact. That fucking sucks."  
We walked for a long time in silence of our own thoughts. My feet started to get tired so I could just imagine how Karkat could feel, not being a god tier.  
He was driven and stubborn but sleep pulled at my eyes. "Perhaps we should rest." I grabbed his sleeve quickly. It looked like he wanted to argue but nodded. "Fine. There's not anywhere fancy to sleep on so we can just lay down here."  
After the agreement, we sat ourselves on the dark ground and quickly fell asleep.  
I didn't dream. It was dark, just like this world. When I opened my eyes, I couldn't figure out of I was awake or not, until I felt warmth beside me. It was Karkat, and he was laying right beside me. His arms wrapped around himself inside his sweater as the sleeves dangled empty. And his legs were pulled into his chest. Every few seconds, I could hear his shiver against the lack of any heat. I hadn't noticed it much beforehand but without a sun, it was close to freezing temperatures. Being an Sburb session, even dead, it couldn't just freeze over. It's a session that lacked even the minerals to freeze.  
I felt bad for him then. He obviously didn't intend to get lost in a place like this. Finally deciding what to do, I pulled my hoodie off. I had a normal T-shirt underneath. The one I had been wearing before I even went god tier at all. Quickly wrapping him in the clothes, I laid back down beside Karkat, draping an arm over him so he wouldn't freeze. Hopefully he would be okay now. I drifted back into a light sleep, waking up again at every little movement the troll made. Why was I feeling so protective? I hardly knew him. I had lost all my friends and I've even alone for so long, that had to be it. I didn't want anything to happen to him. I wanted to protect someone this time, and actually succeed.  
Suddenly, he shot up, throwing my arm back. The sudden movement woke me up completely and I jumped into a sit. "W-What is it?"  
He tossed aside the hoodie I gave him and shook his head. "I wake up and you were clinging to me like a grub. Scared the fuck out of me."  
I couldn't help a small laugh. "You were cold. I just thought I'd help."  
He didn't reply. Instead standing up and sighing. "Let's keep walking."  
I gathered my hoodie and pulled it back over my head then hurried to catch up. Karkat grabbed my hand again and kept hold. I didn't ask why but it didn't bother me much. Maybe he just didn't want to get separated.  
"Listen, eh-"  
"(Y/n)."  
"Right. Listen, (y/n). When we get outta here, I don't know how it's going to affect you, since you're from a dead session entering a dream bubble. Maybe nothing will happen but whatever the fuck goes down, I'll still be your friend."  
Hearing someone say that, I felt my heart skip. He really cared for me that made me so happy.  
I wasn't thinking when I pulled away from his grip so I could wrap him in a hug. Human or not, Karkat is important to me. He didn't stop me and didn't push me away this time. He really was a friend. When I suddenly gave him a kiss, Karkat quickly tensed up and grabbed my arms to push me away. "W-What are you doing!?" Sounding flustered, Karkat yelled. "It felt like a good moment." Was all I could reply. It wasn't entirely a lie either.  
"Good moment? You're j-just another flesh human! I couldn't possibly be flushed for you!" He grew more and more panicked as he spoke then finally cut himself off with a sigh. "You could have even at least fucking asked..." The troll muttered. I have to admit, it was a little amusing how embarrassed he got. Just a small kiss made him fly into a rage. We still had a while to walk, if we even found the exit at all. ¨If I had asked, would you have let me?¨ I found myself suddenly asking out loud, breaking the silence that had overfell us quickly.  
When I gazed over at Karkat for his answer, he was looking down silently. Was that a sore subject? Perhaps I should change the topic, thinking quickly, I decided on one. "What are your friends like?" I moved a little closer, so I could see his face in the darkness. He was wearing a displeased frown, revealing a few rather sharp teeth. He really wasn't a human, was he? I didn't feel afraid though. In fact, his presence made me feel... Somewhat safe. I enjoyed accompanying Karkat a lot more than I ever did, sticking around my friend's grave like I had been for the past hundred years. Maybe more than that. I've lost track of the time while I was here after all.  
"Assholes." He finally replied, crossing his arms. "All assholes."  
"Assholes?" I tilt my head curiously. He had spoken so fondly of them earlier. What happened?  
"Yea. I can't stand them. But I just can't leave them." He lowered his voice a little bit, sounding as if he were reminiscing. How long had HE been wandering? Long enough to forget where he came in, long enough to find a single survivor, but this place is just a black void. It's easy to lose your memories. Your thoughts can grow frazzled, and you don't age, forcing you to never leave. Of course, non god tiers can die here without food or from injuries, but they can't grow old and die, just like the gods. I suddenly felt a pinch of jealousy. Karkat could have joined his friends, if his session were to somehow be destroyed like mine. Because he wasn't a god like I was. I couldn't say anything about that though and fight with the single other person i've seen in years.  
Quickly, I decided to nudge his shoulder, causing Karkat to flinch in surprise and turn to look at me. "What is it?" He gruffed, sounding a little annoyed. Could he tell how I was feeling? With how he said it, it felt like he just... Knew. Who was he? "N-Nothing."  
After that, the conversation grew silent. I focused in on the sound of our footsteps, then frowned a little. "I still don't understand how you just stumbled into a doomed session." I shook my head. Karkat shrugged it off. "Eh who knows?" He acted like he didn't care but I was sure he wondered just as much as I did. "What do you think-"  
"Can you be quiet for like, five grub-snuffing minutes?" Karkat suddenly lashed out, interrupting my question. I fell quiet but I was still curious.

 

"Hey, what's that?" I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked up to see a strange light growing closer. It almost looked like a speck, but it seemed so clearly visible from the darkened world. He sped up and raced towards it, leaving me behind to catch up. The troll reached the strange light first and as I came closer, I could see it better. It was a perfect orb floating on the middle of nowhere. It's yellow gleam made it hard to see the picture inside but it was easy to catch the movement. "What is this?" I looked over to the troll, the light now illuminated over his grey face. Karkat's orange eyes stared down at it, and he seemed to remember something, then shook his head. "It's a dream bubble. Only the person who put it here can open it."  
I set my hand over the bubble. It felt like glass and smoothed over. "This isn't anyone's I know. One of your friends?" Karkat muttered, backing away. I nodded. Whose else could it be? "They're gone now. I won't get this open." I started to feel saddened again, my urges coming back. But I promised Karkat so I wouldn't act. We found a dream bubble but what now? I didn't have to wait long before Karkat cleared his throat. "That way. Look."  
I raised my head and followed where he was looking to see more light. Sparking up like stars, scattering out. The pathway lit up with more and more bubbles. Each one a different, dazzling color. "I think they're showing us the way." He suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me past them. I looked back and forth as I passed the bubbles, each one becoming more clear than the next. I could hear voices and laughing echoing from some as their memories were locked away. Below me, a dim street made a path through them. As we kept walking, the area became brighter. Is was the most beautiful thing I've seen in a long time. "These all belonged to my friends." I grinned, hearing their voices again. Karkat suddenly stopped and I fell into his back, almost knocking him over. The troll growled quietly but nodded. "This one looks important."  
I made my way around him and approached the bubble directly in the center of the path. It was the only glittering blue bubble. A fog covered this bubble, but I could make out movement under it. It felt familiar but I couldn't lay my finger on it... I set my hand over it and wiped away the fog. it fell away and the bubble suddenly began to shake. Cracks formed along the orb and blinding light seeped through. It suddenly shattered. I closed my eyes to protect myself from the glass when I heard a voice in my head.

"Through there!" A girl giggled.  
"W-Wait! It doesn't look safe." A boy muttered.  
"Are you afraid?" That was me. I remember this. The day my friends died.  
"Of course not! I just don't trust anything I see in this bloody game." The boy kicked a pebble away.  
"Then let's go! I want you guys to be god tier with me!"  
"I'm with you (y/n)!" The girl clapped. "God tier, god tier!" She started to chant.

 

I couldn't see anything but I remember the looming cave before us. My friends were killed that day, and I managed to escape. But why am I remembering this? Why is this here? Is this important? I opened my eyes and looked around. The dream bubble was dim now, sitting in the path like nothing happened, looking like every bubble around us. Karkat had already started to walk ahead, his eyes fixed on something. I hurried after to stand by his side and look on. "I think I know this place." I started. The troll hummed curiously, not saying a word, so I continued. "Before the doomed session, a cave was here, where my friends died. If we keep going down the path, I think we can find it." I tugged on his sleeve quickly. Karkat didn't seem to react at all, instead, approaching his own bubble in front of him. "Is that... The one that brought you here?"  
He didn't answer, but I could only assume so. I waited for the troll to finish with his bubble. He set his hand on it and wiped away a fog only he could see. The dream bubble dimmed out but something happened. It started glowing again, brighter than before. Then a strange door appeared from nowhere behind it. When I looked through, I could see green. So much color, and light. I wanted to run through right away! The troll turned around and smirked. "Found it."  
He went in first then turned around and held his hand out. Before I took it, I looked one last time into my old session. This is a new beginning, isn't it? I tightened my grip on him and jumped through the door. When I looked back again, it was gone. Only a tree stood where I jumped out of. "My friends are this way." He muttered, leading me through the trees. I smiled, taking in all the sights. He saved me. I was finally free of my dark and endless prison. But how? Before I asked, he spoke, like he knew what I wanted to say. "It's because we both wished for it. That's it. Sburb fucking sucks but it's not that cruel." He turned back and we made eye contact for a few moments. "'Can I ask for that kiss now?" I tilt my head with a smile.


End file.
